Tuesday, 11 March 2014


I just watched the video First Kiss. What I found funny was the initial awkwardness of the kisses, in Ireland most people my age had their first kisses with a total stranger-and a lot of their subsequent kisses, we have become skilled in the art of connecting with strangers.
What is  fascinating is that despite the initial awkwardness, most of the kisses are spectacular, the kind you see people in movies having with someone they love, they look the way all your best kisses have felt (there are, admittedly one or two that area little awkward also, like the beginnings of most of my own relationships.).
It got me thinking about just how bizarre the act of kissing is.
I like you. I'm gonna press my mouth against you. And maybe my tongue.
But it has become oddly important. If a kiss is bad, it can spoil a moment, or even a potential romance. And if a kiss is spectacular, it can make you think you have a stronger connection with someone than you really do. I have met some truly lovely, lovely guys who made me laugh and were interesting and thoughtful, but kissing them actually put me off them, it made them less attractive because it was like we just weren't connecting. 
Then there have been people that you never really thought of that way, or if you did you never thought it would be a good idea or work out, and then one day you kiss (usually because of boredom, a dare, alcohol or just silliness or loneliness) and you feel like maybe it makes sense, maybe you just didn't realise what might be there, maybe you really do have a connection.
The truth is neither of these things is a reflection of your relationship with the person, in the end it just boils down to how people kiss, and some people are better than others. Though as far as my experience goes, even if someone is the worst kisser in the world, if you like them enough it doesn't matter, you'll find a way to work past it. But the best kisses can often be the most unexpected, the ones that resolve things, the ones that change things, the ones that came out of nowhere, the ones that surprise you, the ones with someone who you never realised cared that way. A kiss, like a smile, can be just what it is, or it can be so much more, and part of its power is in the unknown, the inability to know precisely in the moment that it is happening just what it means, you just have to feel it and it makes you forget that you even need to know. So even if its awkward before it has happened, or after, while it's happening, a good kiss takes over, nothing exists but the feeling and the moment. Perhaps that's why even now in the overly sexualised era we live in, kisses are still just a little bit special, a little bit powerful, and very definitely special.

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