Saturday, 18 May 2013

Anti-social Socialite

I am always chatting to someone. I know a lot of people around my college and when I walk around town or any of the places near me I can never do so without running into someone, getting chatting to someone. I get invited to things the odd time, if people are on their way to something they'll often ask me along; in the case of some particular friends this can be by way of forcibly bringing me with them!
Despite the fact that I superficially appear to be quite 'popular', I can be quite an antisocial individual, most of the time I'd rather stay at home and relax than go out and hang with other people. If there's short notice I usually pump myself up to go and end up having a great time but if its on a day where I'm just kina waiting around til I go to some event I often can't bother myself to be excited about going-it's a real pain.
I was telling one of my closest that I only really have a handful of people that I genuinely want to spend time with, plenty I enjoy spending time with but only a handful that I actually really think about hanging out with and consciously would make the effort to see. I have some close friends who I love deeply and would be there for in a heartbeat if they needed me, yet some days I am just not in the mood to hang out with them. Sometimes in life we even make those fabulously rare friends who you can tell that you're simply not arsed to go out and they will just laugh and not hold it against you.
This year has seen me become somewhat of a hermit. Between the transition to Trinity, a broken leg and ending up behind on work I haven't really gotten back into my social stride and still feel a little awkward about socialising in the arena of my peers, especially those who don't know me all that well yet. I feel like I'm out of the loop on what's normal to get up to, where's cool to go out, what people listen to; I feel like someone's mum trying to be 'down with the kids' because of my current level of social awkwardness!
At this stage, I'm hoping someone will force me into some fun so that I realise that I'm perfectly capable of interacting with people and that I'll enjoy it if I just get off my lazy ass, slap on some mascara and smile!

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