Mystery

It's fascinating to be at this midway stage in life. Every day you might discover something that will make you who you'll be in the future, every day could be the first time you see your future neighbour, future best friend, future spouse. Every day could be the day that one person moves out or moves on or is no longer a part of your life. Every day is touch and go, but in this scarily exciting fantastical way that you can't quite get your head around.
 Everyone wants to know who you are and where you're going and what you want to be and whether you're with someone. You are at your most developmental stage. People think your childhood and teenage years are the most formative years, but can you honestly say that your college years weren't the time where you started to lay the foundations of your adult life? The longest section of your life.
It's astounding to me that I may already have encountered the person I might marry, or my future boss, or my room mate when I move out, or the friend who'll help me plan my wedding.
It's also fascinating to consider that in a year or two I may have entirely different friends, plans, interests, relationships and aspirations. I may go in some completely separate direction. I may become a different person entirely to the one I picture myself becoming.
I'm still trying to become the person 7 year old me was dreaming of becoming (only I'm probably not going to be an astronaut after all!). I'm still trying to stick with the things I'm passionate about and not just let go of them because I want to appear more grown up.
I only have a few more years where I can still call my parents when I'm scared or tired, where I can dye my hair all the lovely colours I want and not be looked at like I'm crazy, where I can wear what I want and do the things I want before I have to assume a set place in soceity, a set role, a set look. Everything is so fluid I don't want to let go of that, yet one part of me is excited for when it finally happens. One part wants to peek out from behind the curtain and see who I am 5years from now, 10 years from now. One part of me wants to see what stores I'll have to tell my kids and grandkids in the next few years, what pictures will be stuffed into albums and giggled over with a bottle of wine in my thirties.
I guess the greatest mystery in life is our own selves, because even we in our own heads have no real knowledge of ourselves. We won't know ourselves fully even until we're probably about 80 years old, and even then there will be things we don't know about ourselves.