Have just realised I won't be able to bring my laptop to the Ukraine with me. I don't actually have a clue how I am going to cope not being able to write for two weeks. I need my blogs, I need my play, I wanted to document the trip, I wanted to be able to relax and get some work done on my writing. This writing lark is oxygen for my soul and I've grown so accustomed to the ease of the laptop that thinking about the mess of pen and paper makes me feel unwell. I hate the desperate hand-can't-keep-up-with-my-thoughts scribble that I write freehand.
Plus I can hardly do reviews on my phone, or long blog posts, I can barely send a text message or update my facebook status on that little touch-screen nightmare. I actually feel anxious, unhappy and I can't really think straight or sleep knowing that I won't be able to do this stuff or that I'll have to catch up on it all when I'm back. Fuck. And a half. With great big fucking knobs on.
Apparently not reminding my father every day for the last month to bring home a back-up drive means it is my fault that my laptop isn't backed up. I've said it to him a hundred times but it should have been a thousand. It may sound very childish and petty and almost bratty from an outside perspective but I cannot cope with the idea that this is another two weeks of no work on my costume budget, no work on my play. Two weeks of blog silence. No way for me to write up my trip. I don't want to have to sit in some dinghy internet cafe desperately trying to finish a scene and a save the document before my time runs out on a computer.
I know the saying is supposed to be 'A writer writes', but it has become 'a writer types' and frankly I haven't found a better way to do it. Adventure is going to be somewhat ruined by the fact I'm going to be setting off in a state of blind panic at this drastic change to my plans. Cannot deal. No thank-you. Goodbye. Help