No dear readers I am not converting this to a fashion blog (I'm mad enough to have one already...don't judge me I'm fabulous), but I do feel that this issue of the humble clothing item has weighed heavily on my mind this year and I must be silent no more on this highly superficial issue.
I wear leggings a lot, they are like sweatpants in terms of comfort and jeans in terms on wearability, they're great they really are. However ye people of Ireland have taken the legging, blessing that it is to those of us too style conscious to venture into the world in sweatpants, and you have made it a thing of cringeyness, of sadness, of oh-dear-god-no-...ness.
Issue one-why is it that such a high percentage for the Irish population think that it is suitable to wear leggings like trousers. No. I repeat no. This is incorrect thinking public and it should be clear why. Would you wear tights out without a skirt or a dress or something over your bottom?? No is (hopefully dear Jesus) the answer. Leggings are only a small, teeny really, step away from tights. Please consider the fact that they are much closer to tights than to trousers. So stop it. Cover your bum it is public indecency.
Issue 2- Irish people exposing their behinds in such away has another issue to it. Now I do not wish to offend people, I am Irish myself please remember but this has to be said. As a nation, our women are not blessed with good bums. I'm sorry but they tend to be on either the broad or flat side and this can be shown off in an extremely unflattering way by the leggings look. Too naked ladies. No please...even if you have a really great bum this does not look good. Stop wearing them like jeans..stop it
Issue 3-now this is the key issue with combining them with zero bum coverage is pants. If you wear big pants people can see them through it or you panic about having a VPL (visible pantie line for those of you unversed in underwear strategy). Worse than this...is the thong. Now thongs have their function, otherwise no one would wear an uncomfortable string type thing in their bum let's be honest, but leggings are not that purpose. I cannot count the number number of times I have had to walk behind an unsupported bottom with just a thin layer of fabric separating me and the naked glory of someones behind. You are fooling no one-we can all see your thong...and we don't want to. I would rather have a vpl than walk about with people seeing my entire bum. Ladies...please no.
Issue 4-finally and this issue is closest to my heart-gentlemen-never wear leggings. Unless you are at a ballet class or performing as Peter Pan you must never ever wear them. They were not made for you. They do not look good on you. They are not attractive. No. That is all.
I apologise for being so ranty but I had to get this out or I risked yelling at strangers to put clothes on. Which is a little premature at my age...I'll wait til I have teenage kids before I make such demands.