Saturday, 2 February 2013

Chat up lines

I know that many girls consider the cheesy chat up line to be last refuge of the hopeless loser or the stupid sleaze of the over-confident flirt but in my opinion they are gold. I've just finished veritably spamming my friend's Facebook with cheesy quotes such as 'if you were a transformer you'd be Optimus Fiiiine'. (an important part of our online engagement is that my 'future wife' and I maintain a cheesy honeymoon atmosphere between us!). Personally the nerdier the chat up line the more impressed I am. I think if a boy pulled off using a LOTR reference to chat me up he might just steal my heart.
Let's be honest, we live in a technological world of instant gratification. Gone are the days where courtship took years and a decent girl wasn't coaxed into bed without a ring on her finger. While I'm not going to pretend I don't love a night out on the town hopefully gettin' the aul shift I'll admit that a bit of stimulating conversation before someone tries to stick their tongue in my mouth would be appreciated every so often. 
I believe that the cheesy pick up line may be the last remaining pointer towards a more romantic era. I lament that eye contact is now equivalent to buying a girl a drink and asking her name! Perhaps I am an old romantic but I'd much rather be asked if it hurt when I fell from heaven than be smacked on the arse every time I pass by a member of the opposite gender (or in some cases a sassy lesbian). 
There is obviously an element of excitement to it, humorous flirtation is much more invigorating than having someone grind against you without your consent. Banter is the name of the game as far as I'm concerned; I'd much rather get with someone because they were funny than simply because they were up for it! Besides a man's choice of cheesy chat up line says a lot about him. Some stay safe and generic 'are your legs tired 
because you've been running through my mind all day' or 'do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?'. You have to have even more confidence or at least be pretty easy going to adopt a more out there opening statement such as 'You must be auxin, cause you are causing me to have rapid stem elongation.' (I'm a science nerd so I can't help but appreciate these sort of lines!).

Maybe its a silly thought but I think a man without a cheesy line or two to his name is not a man at all! Perhaps it's my romantic nature or an overexposure to puns but I honsestly believe that the humble chat up line must retain a place in the dating world, or I may just grow a beard and join a convent. Saying 'nice tits' is not a pick up line gents, lets get some cheese up in these clubs!

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