Monday 25 February 2013

Disappointment

After guilt, I think disappointment is the worst feeling in the world. I think this is because to be disappointed you had to have hope before, and with hope being as powerful as it is its opposite is equally emotionally potent.
There's nothing more awful than having your expectations crushed. Even if someone does not intend to disappoint you or let you down its impossible not to feel that way. Its not an emotion we can control in ourselves or in others. When you've been thinking about a date for weeks and then they have to cancel, when you've been looking forward to dinner and you get home and someone's eaten what you were hoping to, when you've been waiting all day for a visit from a friend and then they're late.
Recently I've been dealing with a lot more disappointment than I'm used to. I didn't get the grade I hoped for in one or two assignments at college, I wasn't cast in any of the productions I auditioned for recently, I have been dumped by more than one person since starting college and I have had to miss my dance exams due to breaking my leg.
Part of me definitely wants to give in under the crushing weight of this disappointment, I know all things are temporary and that I'll be back on top soon but some days it can feel like there is no point in bothering at anything.
I don't know how other people feel about disappointment but for me it can be crippling when it happens. The best way I can see about keeping hope in your life is to remember all the people who never let you down, all the things you're good at, all the things you can achieve and even just the fun of trying new things and learning from your failures can remind you that disappointment now and then is unavoidable but without trying things neither can we achieve, learn, grow, change or be successful.

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