Today I was blog browsing and I came across a post with reasons why the blogger considered themself to be charming. While it was interesting to read i thought the blogger had perhaps mistaken the meaning of 'charming' (examples included 'I used to had a speech impediment' and 'I sing to my chinchilla'....sidenote wtf is a chinchilla?). This got me thinking about what constitutes as charming these days. As I've said before, modern courtship rituals are somewhat lacking in the traditional nuances that used to classify as romance; such as conversation, manners or not staring at someones breasts (or penis I suppose). I'm not sure charming is technically a real thing anymore.
That said if i was to try to define charming I'd have to use a lot of the qualities of a certain friend of mine. He has been described by mother as having a 'handsome voice'. He's pleasantly softly spoken and has perfect manners. He's one of those people who could throw down a vulgar line and it'll come off as funny and sweet!
Charming is probably a viable description of the 'gent'. A modern lad who'll still offer to carry a girls bag or hold a door open for her or walk her home/to the dart etc. This doesn't necessarily 'charm' a girl but it certainly keeps alive the idea that chivalry is not dead!
As a woman I have rarely had to charm someone and thinking about it now I'd probably be just as lost about what to do as your average male. It would seem to me that the key is compliments (bitches love compliments!). The other night for instance a friend told me that he loved that I was so different and not afraid to be my own person and I honestly swooned a bit.
i think the most difficult thing about the idea of charming is that its all relative to attraction anyway. Something that's charming coming from a guy you like can be sleazy or creepy form a guy you simply can't stand. I would love to be a charming individual; in adult company I've been described as charming in the sense of sociable and engaging but it's not quite the same sentiment as a man being a charmer.
I'm taking note that I must do some further study into this area and explore the concept of charm. The combination of natural appeal, deliberate behaviour and politeness of character makes it a most complex quality indeed.